Parenting Hacks from The Nest Parents Online

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Parenting advice on impulse

Parenting happens in an instant and you have to be ready for it!  We’ve partnered up with Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA, an infant mental health expert, a child development expert, a marriage and family therapist, and of course a mom to give you some tools to make parenting a little easier.   These hacks are meant to give you deeper understanding and helpful language to manage the conflicts and predicaments that come along with raising kids.

The Scenario

What happened?
Last week at soccer my 5YO kicked another little boy in the groin.

What happened just before the incident?
The other little boy kicked him intentionally with his soccer cleats.

What did I do?
Was horrified, apologized to the other boy’s mother, made my son sit off to the side of the field to cool off and felt like an epic failure.

Nest Hack

What happened??
Your 5 year old felt and acted on the natural human response of defending himself after being hurt. He then proceeded to let the other little guy know and feel how “bad” he felt. This is typical for a 5-7 year old where all of a sudden revenge, resentment, and pride become part of their feeling states.

What happened just before the incident?
No matter what age you are a cleat to your shins is going to hurt and cause a range of emotions to surface. Your 5 year old felt embarrassed, scared, angry and/or vengeful.

What can I do?

  1. Narrate to both the boys what you just observed: “Michael you had a big feeling and stepped on Tommy’s shins with your cleats. That can really hurt someone’s body. Tommy you reacted to Michael by kicking him in his private area. Remember no matter how angry, scared or disappointed we feel we do not hurt, touch, or push another friend’s body.
  2. Predict what needs to happen next time: “Next time if you are very angry and you feel a big feeling remember to breath, count to 10 or ask an adult or coach for help.”
  3. Consequence in this situation is both little guys need a moment to think about what just happened. Handle tears or tantrums by asking the parents to sit next to them and hold hands or hug while they sit quietly.

Crisis averted!  But you can be certain there's another one right around the corner.  These hacks are great on the go but to really master a skill you need the following things:

  1. A commitment of time and energy
  2. The right training from an expert
  3. A supportive community

The other thing you need to build mastery is practice. As we all know, there will be plenty of opportunities to practice this new information before breakfast is even on the table!

“Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.” – Albert Einstein

I’m happy to share an online parenting community with you that just might be the perfect resource for you. As I mentioned, Lina is an infant mental health expert, a child development expert, and a marriage and family therapist but most important…she’s also a mom.  She has personally helped me navigate what felt like insurmountable circumstances with grace and ease. And she does this with a big, generous heart and a smile!

So if you are looking for some support in the parenting department, please check out The Nest Parents Online.  It’s an expert at your fingertips. Lina’s definition of parenting is: “Parenting is a day to day opportunity to love, understand and form a citizen of the world”.

Have a scenario you would like to see hacked?  Maybe that dreaded request for a sip of water before bed.  Or what to do when your little one imitates an undesirable behavior that they saw?  Send us the details – I'm sure you aren't the ONLY mom trying to understand and solve the situation!

Get support today and stop parenting alone.